How time passes...

How time passes...yeah..how time flies ever since i came back from umrah...went to brunei...came back..get myself a job and POOF!! it has already been 6 months since I last saw Kaabah aka Makkah, the only country that I am longing to go again.

I still remember when I wrote my first post in this blog.."To write well, you have to write what you really know"..so well,here goes. The story that I will never forget and will always embedded in my heart forever.

Standing outside the Makam Nabi at Masjid Nabawi,saying goodbye to our beloved Rasulullah was the most heartwarming moment for me at that time. The whole family cried and prayed that Insya ALLAH we will soon come back to visit Rasulullah again.

We went back to our hotel for breakfast and need to pack our luggages as we were about to leave to our next destination..Kota Tsamud and Makkah. At the lobby, I saw a group of Mutawiff were having deep conversation and stopped the moment my family stepped in. My brother in law greet with "Salaams" to them and they replied. As usual, I was always the last one to enter as I need to overlook my 3 golden ladies..ahaks. While I was waiting for the lift, I caught all the Mutawiff staring at me as though I am from another planet. I looked back at them with a curiousty look on my face and nod my head towards Faiz, the so called our Ustaz or our Mutawiff more like it. He smiled and nodded back at me. We were as though sending signal through our nodding of heads of asking what exactly are you guys staring at?? The lift door opened,still with a curiosity look and frowning on my face, I went in without getting any answers.

Approximately around 6pm, we arrived at Al-Ula Hotel after visiting the Kota Tsamud, the city which takes at least 3 days to finish. We were very tired from the 8 hours journey and unfortunately when we arrived at the hotel, there was no room for our family. It was the most shocking moment for all of us. So where are we supposed to sleep?my sister asked with her angry tone staring at our mutawiff. Speechless, Faiz and another mutawiff tried to solve the problem. My 3 golden girls already extremely tired from the long journey. Pity them. We ate our dinner at the hotel while waiting for an answer about our rooms. Exactly at 10pm,the problem solved. All of us need to share rooms with the others 'jemaah'. The 3 old ladies and myself shared 1 apartment with one family from Negri Sembilan.
I still remember Faiz was standing and looking at me with a lot of bags to be carried. I looked up and says "Hello...help please??" He smiled and took 3 begs from me and gestures to walk first. I shooked my head with irritation.
After we settled in the apartment, I heard a commotion outside the apartment. I went out,saw my sister and Kak Liya were squabbling with my brother in law about sharing rooms.It was unlikely that Kak Liya will be sharing a room with someone with a HUSBAND!!!! I voiced out with my of course loud voice "Kak Liya!!!I got a space for you in my room, you can sleep on the bed with mama and i will sleep on the floor. Anyway,its just for a couple of hours, no big deal.The other 2 ladies want to sleep in front of the tv at the living room, so come!No need to argue at the hallway" I said with one breath. Everybody was stunned and I did not realised that Faiz was standing beside me staring with amazement. I frowned at him and says with my authorative voice"As for you Faiz, please make sure the pillows and mattresses is here for the old ladies before you can go to your room,thank you...Kak Liya!!Come!!" I turned towards my apartment without realising that Faiz still staring at me. (This info of course been provided by my 2 beloved older niece..hhehhe)

Next morning,again I bullied Faiz with another remark about orange and mango juices. He still can't differentiate between those two drinks after being living in Arab for more than 3 years.DUH...I was like...serious ke that dungu?? So thats it..I don't remember I had a crush towards this boy or anything. I don't even realised his existense even from Jeddah airport to Madinah till the day at the lobby. That was the day I acknowledged his existence until somehow or rather an unusual feeling came at one unforgetable morning at the hotel in Makkah,the Holy Land.

Kaabah...how I remember how strong the aura of the Kaabah itself. I sat silently in front of Kaabah,staring while awaiting for Fajar prayers. I remembered the birds flew around the kaabah,thousands of men,women and children were reciting quran while doing their tawaf. I saw an old lady cried while she was praying. I looked back at Kaabah. This is it...this is the feeling when you going to die. You do your prayers, the sound of birds, the smell, the atmosphere, the sound of babies crying and people crying asking for HIS forgiveness...all this sounds reminds you, that death is coming nearer. The sound of baby crying...reminds how you first came to this world..the sound of crying asking for ALLAH forgivness reminds you the sins you have done..and all this...the prayers and all I'm doing right now..is it enough to be forgiven by HIM? Am I prepared to be taken by HIM at this moment? Am I? Tears falling down at my cheek and I looked around. My friend stopped reciting Yassin and stared at me with wonder. She took hold of my hand and we both stared at Kaabah in silent. No words to describe how we felt at that moment. Just our silences answers to everything. Suddenly,Azan was heard and we prepared ourselves to do our Solat Sunat Subuh. And then, I still remember how I cried all the way through Subuh prayers while the Imam reciting. It was the most beautiful voice I ever heard. The way he recite, and the rhythm..YA ALLAH, how I never forget that feeling. At that moment,I knew...I knew ALLAH is right there beside me...HE is really very near me...watching HIS servant crying and repent for the sins that she has done blindly. I will never forget that moment. Even after the prayers, my friend asked of why did i cried all the way through? For the first time in my life, I do not have the answer to that kind of question. Do I feel happy or sad? Or regret overcomes me?Only ALLAH knows how I feel. When I was about to leave..I saw Faiz finishing his prayers. He looked up and nod his head at me. I nodded back at him and walked away without realising that I was praying silently to have someone like him in my life. Never I realised that my silent prayers in front of Kaabah was somehow or rather, came true...

To be continued....