No description of what I am going through....now...

Hmm...yes,there is no description of what I am going through right now but I do know that "ALLAH is really testing me" whether I will be blaming fate or myself or giving up on HIM.

Honestly, I am frustrated and tired with neverending problem which I could not see if there is any ending to it. I am angry because it wasn't me that the mistake was created and here I am having to face the consequences. Whether I like it or not the mistake was under my name. *sigh*. There is nobody could help me on this except pray to ALLAH for his guidance on how to solve this problem.

At first, I kept thinking...why me? and then a sudden thought came across my mind."The debt was under your name although it wasn't you who caused it,if you wish to perform Haji and Umrah again, you should get your debt settled because it's in God's hand,you may or may not come back from Makkah,so please get everything settled" yes...I have thought that way.

I remembered the last time I went to Makkah, I was praying in front of Kaabah wishing and hoping that Allah will forgive me for all the sins that I have done. I even asked for His guidance to recuperate and cleanse myself from everything. I guess the journey to cleanse myself has begun after a year. I have accepted and willing to take the responsibilty although at the back of my mind kept haunting me stating "THIS IS NOT MY FAULT!" but yet,life goes on and i have to go through it.
A good friend told me this..you may have to pay off debts which is not even yours but remember dear fren..."rezeki is always open for you everywhere so as long you do this, do not be afraid that you won't be enough, you will have enough,insyallah"...

Yes,it is true what she says but yet it does hurt and painful for me to bear it alone. Insyallah, I can go through with it...and I know Allah will not abandon me. HE will always be at my side...that I know for sure and that's what makes my heart feel contented....:)...

I love ALLAH so much...HE is the love of my life frm the beginning till the end....

-END-