It has been few weeks since my last post. And I have been very busy to update MY STORY. I guess it had to wait till I come back from Umrah, insya ALLAH. Yup, I'll be leaving for umrah soon. With God willing, confirm date to leave is 16th March.
I am grateful with my sister for wanting to bring me along.Guess a lot of people wanting me to find my soulmate so hope if i pray in front of house of Allah, my wish will be fulfilled...ameen...
There is so many things that I wish for. For starters, I want to be completely change spritualy,physically and mentally. A promise to myself that I make a point to be more muslimah starting this year. Need a change...could no longer live in a world of fantasy. Peace, secure and happy, guess that is the most important aspect in my life right now. Try not to be so angry with life,temperamental and revengeful towards whoever has hurts me deeply. I have lost a lot due to my own stupidity and I don't think I want to lose my life again. The past has been haunting me for so many years and i have been doing a hell a lot of bad things lately...yeah..need a change.
I realise the more I am about to leave for Umrah, the more Allah is testing me and my family. For instance, about my 2nd sister. She has no where to go. No place to stay and no one she can voice out her problem too. My elder sister and brother refuses to help her because in their mind..she will not or never change. Everyday I pray to ALLAH to soften the hearts of my elder sister and brother. To make them see that maybe one day, they will face the same problem but in a different way, do they wants us to turn our back from them then when that happens? My late father used to say, "Blood is thicker than water" no matter where you go or what you do, we will always be the family. My father never once turn his back from his siblings, no matter how irritating or annoying they been.
Cruelty and arrogant doesn't lead you to no where. I have been there and i know it. I even live on a streets due to my own stuborness. Money and status can change people to be so arrogant with their surroundings. My sister and brother went everywhere in order to save the Palestines...yes..Save The PalestineS!!! I salute my siblings for doing so...but yet,their own sister is dying. Dying to gain for their help and guidance but they just refused to help. Islam doesn't teaches us to be angry and walked away. Islam teaches us to be angry and correct the people we love if they make mistake, lead them to the right path.
I am angry with my 2nd sister for the mistakes she has done but how far my anger can go? She is still my sister. My blood is streaming in her veins too.I may not have money to help her or home for shelter but I do have my conscience to be there for her when she needs me.Yep,my 2nd sister will be in my list in my prayers for Umrah. I want her to change and lead a better life and hope Allah will give her a chance to be a good person like how HE has given me a chance to do so...
Am I the only one who thinks that in the end,she is still always be our sister and no one can change that? Hmm...I think so...
No comments:
Post a Comment